We all have these doubts in our heads, the ones that feed us lies, that come out when we’re almost at breaking point, trying to push us over the edge. The doubts that tell us things we don’t need to hear, and we can’t block out, the doubts filling our minds with insecurity.
These doubts sound like:
You’re not good enough.
People are only friends with you because they feel sorry for you.
No one could love someone like you.
You’re broken and worthless.
You’re not cut out for this job.
It can be hard not to give into these voices especially when we are already feeling vulnerable. So how can we shut them up and lock them away? It’s never easy and these things take time but with practice they will eventually quieten down.
- Acknowledge that you are feeling these things and that these are very real feelings but they’re not true.
- Change what the doubts are saying. If they’re saying you’re not good enough, replace the thought with I am good enough. Or instead of people are only friends with you because they feel sorry for you replace the thought with people are friends with me because I am awesome. Switch the negative for the positive. While this may be easier than done but in time it will get easier and you will soon be able to do it automatically.
- Talk about these self doubts with someone you trust. This allows you to not only let someone in but also gives you a chance to get some reassurance that these doubts are lies.
- Get out of your head. Go for a walk, read a book, anything that will help you find an escape and stop the doubts from getting bigger.
- Write down the doubts and destroy them. Tell yourself as you are doing this that you are exiting these things out of your mind, and they can’t bother you.
The reality is that we all experience self-doubt and negative self-talk, but it doesn’t need to have a hold onto us, even if at times it feels like it does.
Feel free to drop by, just say, ‘Hey Erin’ in strict confidence and you can be anonymous if you wish. Or, do not hesitate to leave a question in the comments below any time.